Testimony for Serenity Ranch-My family had enough and I was alone
“I recall not being able to get out of bed, shower, groom myself and most important see and spend time with my Daughter, never mind hold a job. As I write this note tears are running down my left cheek from regret and sorrow. You may have heard it before but I didn’t want to live and didn’t want to die. I was stuck on an alcoholic treadmill that I just couldn’t get off and it was going faster and faster and man times I fell off.
My family had enough with my lying, cheating and thieving ways and I was alone, a
loneliness I would not wish on my worst enemy, funny thing…I don’t have any enemy’s today.
When I first walked into Serenity Ranch I was full of fear and still detoxing I am sure. Nerves and anxiety consumed me. The staff made me feel special and worthy of living a good life and most important that there was hope. I learned that they were all recovered addicts and alcoholics and for some reason I could immediately trust them. It was a huge weight of my back. I knew that they knew how I was feeling and I truly trusted what they said. I am sure also you have heard this before; “my best thinking got me here. ”Well I was definitely here!!
The family atmosphere and relaxed beautiful country setting kept me sober for 1 year. I would like to
say I remained sober to this very day, however, I did all the things that I wasn’t suppose to do in order to remain sober. That dreadful day came when I picked up that drink again, chaos in sued and I had to beat myself and everyone I loved up again. The definition of insanity; Doing something over and over and expecting different results. Yes I was insane.
I am positive I gave myself diabetes type 1 because of my drinking. I experienced severe depression as a result of my drinking and have recently been diagnosed with bi-polar. I lost my license twice, been
bankrupt, got divorced, lost custody of my daughter, spent a few many nights in the drunk tank, stole
booze. I was the embarrassment of my friends and family, but just couldn’t stop drinking, it was the ease and peace I received every time I drank – but only would last a few hours. Then oblivion.
I never forgot the valuable lessons and amazing tools I was given at Serenity Ranch and kept picking
myself up after a relapse. Today I am happy to say I am 6 months sober. Thank you Jim M, Peggy, Patty, Willhien, Davis, Darwyn and Travis.
To Jim Gray, you are an amazing person who is often misunderstood, but I know you, I know your big
heart and I know that all you want is to help people, and for that I am eternally grateful. I will never
forget our first meeting in your air plane flying to Snare Lake over 20 years ago, talking program over the headsets, I will never forget that. Thank you.
Today I live each moment as it comes, read my Big book, try and help someone else, go to meetings,
receive counselling and do my best to do my best. That’s all I can do. Life isn’t all rosy today, but I am
sober, I have food in my cupboard and have 5 dollars in my jeans, a hell of a lot more than I used to have as a practising alcoholic. Today I am a recovered Alcoholic and God willing I will be granted one more day of peace, contentment and freedom.
Thank you Serenity Ranch, you have absolutely saved my life.”
